I'd Rather Be With You

Here is an interesting conundrum... How are 2 people who's entire relationship (3 1/2 years now) has been long distance supposed to co-habitate in the same space for 12 days? Now don't get me wrong, David and I have spent long periods of time together, this isn't new, but it's weird because this also isn't vacation. He is here for work all week, and I'm also working, so this is normal, everyday co-habitation. Eat dinner together, work around each other schedules, go to bed early, sort of normal everyday behavior. Now, David and I have normal everyday behavior, but it is more like that of a single person. I have my schedule, I have my groceries for the week, I have my own things going on, but as a couple we don't have a normal routine. We don't even eat the same types of food! David watches his favorite TV shows during the week, I don't have cable. I get all my food from the farmers market, David eats out a lot. I go to bed at 8 and get up at 4:30, David goes to bed at 10 and gets up at 6. I have my fitness class schedule to keep, and he doesn't like yoga. As you can see, should be interesting. And it's not even that I don't think we can live together. I think after doing this for a WHILE we could figure it out and work through it, but this is just a short little preview of what it might be like one day if we ever do get to live around/with each other. We are two people in a relationship who live like we are bachelors. I have no one else's schedule to keep but mine. I can eat a turkey sandwich for dinner at 5 or 10, whatever I want, and he can do the same. It really is such a give and take when you are sharing the same space. But, at the same time I believe it is crucial to continue with your own schedule to some degree, keep doing the things YOU love as an individual and let your partner do the same. If you spend all your waking time together what do you talk about?? 

David and I did live together one time. It seems like AGES ago. We met in March of 2007, on spring break (I know, you don't even have to say it) in Panama City Beach (again, I know). We are the couple that NEVER should have worked out... you can decide for yourself how it all went down, but I'm not going to divulge all the details. What happens in PCB stays in PCB. ;) so anyway, it was March 4th when we met, and that day has become our anniversary. We were completely inseparable. He came to me at the right time in my life, and I to him. I would love to say it was all romantic love at first sight, but not so much. He was supposed to leave right after we got there, but he stayed to catch my attention. I was not interested. Nothing against David, but I just got out of a nasty break up and just didn't want to deal with ANY man. But he was persistent and stayed the week. It wasn't long before I really started falling hard. We spent the entire week together, then vacation was over and it was time to go home. He left a day early to go visit a friend and we had a date planned for the next evening, back in Cookeville. We texted all night and I was excited and nervous and basically ecstatic for our first date. My car left early the next morning to head home over the long 9 hour drive. We were all in 3 cars, and all ended up getting separated and driving different routes. I chose the wrong route. I-65 straight up through Alabama = HUGE wreck, and a 6 1/2 hour delay in stand still traffic. I was devastated. David was living and working in Nashville at the time, so no date. I finally got to Cookeville around midnight, dropped off my friends and headed home. When I got there he was sitting on my porch. He stayed with me all week, but on Thursday, I was flying to New York for a conference, and on Sunday, he was moving to Miami. So I flew off Thursday, terrified of what was going to happen with us. When I got back the next week he was already gone. He left a gift on my porch before he moved. It was an antique camera, watercolor paper, new brushes and paint, and a card. 

So this began our first round of long distance. David and I spent the first 3 months of our relationship trying to get to know each other through e-mails, letters, phone conversations and text messages. I will say, it was the most romantic time of our relationship. We were both really falling in love, and I got to learn more about him than I would have if he had been here. We had to learn how to communicate with each other in a real way, so I am very appreciative of this time. In those 3 months we saw each other 3 times. The first being Easter. He flew home and this was the first time I realized I was in love with him. The second, St Augustine. I woke up one friday and decided I had to see him. So I skipped class and drove 10 hours to Florida, and he drove up 8 from Miami and we stayed in a crappy little cheap hotel and had the most amazing time. The third, I flew to Miami. I HATE to fly, so this says something about how much I wanted to be with him. 

I got off the plane in Miami, and he took me to his "house". David was working for Rutger's University in the everglades on a bird conservation project. So, he was staying in a rangers cabin with some other employees. He had the tiniest little twin bed, in a dorm sized room. We spent a week visiting the keys, driving through Miami, and just basically relishing the fact that after 3 months we got to see each other for more than 2 days. The David threw in the biggest curve ball (not to date, he has outdone this since then but at the time HUGE!) I was supposed to fly out on a Thursday, back to Panama City Beach to meet my friend Eve, then drive back to Tennessee with her. On Tuesday night David said, "what if I came back with you?" I laughed and told him not to tease me and that was all he said about it. Little did I know, he had already turned in his notice at work. The next night he told me he had quit, I helped him pack up all his belongings, we loaded down the jeep, and I never made my flight out the next day. 

When we got back from Miami, we decided that he would stay with me for a few weeks till he found a place of his own. After 3 months, we decided my house was as good as any, and it was nice to have his help on the rent. So from May to November we lived together with my roommate Lindsey in our 3 bedroom rented house in Cookeville. He went back to work with the water plant, and I was in school. We hit our rough patches of course, but we made it through. 

In mid November, I caught him on the internet looking at jobs in coastal Mississippi. I was so angry. I walked out of the room and immediately went into the bathroom, locked the door and took a shower. *the bathroom is my hiding place when i get angry. don't know why, but it always has been* 2 weeks later, he flew to Biloxi for a job interview, and he moved January 1, 2008. This started the 2 1/2 year, 8 1/2 hour separation. 

Biloxi is another story for another blog, but we survived it. David got a job in May with the Tennessee Bureau of Investigations, and has moved to Memphis. so we are still dealing with long distance, and what seems like eternal separation, but at least now we get to see each other ever weekend. This week is the closest to really living together we have gotten on 3 years, and I am just hoping it goes smoothly, but if not, it won't be the worst thing that has ever happened to us. Now when I come home cranky from work, he can't just get off the phone or visa-versa, we actually have to deal with each other... 

Much Love,

  -E

Something Beautiful

Here are some of my favorite things...

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend!

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not"- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Much Love,
 -E

Sweet Disposition

I think sometimes you meet people and they change you. Something shifts and your different. Your views have changed, or you have suddenly truly experienced seeing life from someone else's eyes. This happens to me a lot in my line of work. I am constantly meeting patients who inspire me to be better, and optimistic. Sometimes you meet patients who exemplify exactly what you don't want to become. Today I had the privilege of meeting an 80 year old woman, who looked not a day older than 65. She was sharp as a tack, and beautiful. I asked her how she does it, and she responded "Live cleanly, and don't take pills". I loved it! What a wonderful inspiration for life. "Live cleanly". What exactly does this mean? You decide for yourself, but for me it means, live happily, open, and lovingly. Take care of your body, and of those around you. Be kind to people, and keep hatred out of your focus. I believe life is too short to spend your time focusing on so many negative things.

I am constantly meeting those exceptional people. Everyday I come into the life of someone who will probably not remember me when the consent form is returned in the mail, but who I will remember forever. It keeps me going somedays. When I got this job, I was so focused on being respectful and courteous to these patients, because I come in at such a fragile state in their life... but I then realized really they are coming to me in my fragile state. They are sick, and here so that a capable doctor can fix them, make it better, and make all the pain go away. But in real life, when your not sick, where are the capable doctors to fix everything? Who do we, the healthy people, turn to to make it all better?

I think we can do a lot for ourselves. We can choose to eat healthy and exercise, not smoke or drink, smile more and do things for ourself to make us happy and balanced. But at some point, we have to realize we can't do everything on our own. Sometimes, we need help. It is at these times when I encourage you to turn to your friends, and trust in God. I have lived through so many things in my short life, and there have been times when I have tried to carry it all... and it just doesn't work. When my mother passed away, I tried to take control, fix the family, clean the house, cook the meals, arrange the funeral, and keep everyone happy. I tried to be the captain, but eventually I had to give it all up. When I returned to school a short month later, I broke down, and just let it all go. I leaned on my sorority sisters, my friends, and just finally put it all in God's capable hands. I don't know what you believe, I don't know what your ideas involve, but I know that in times of health, but crisis, there are no doctors to fix everything. Of course things don't get better overnight. it takes time and work, but I encourage you to stop, and give yourself a break. Let Him take your burdens and help you work through them. Your not alone in anything, ever. This is one of the biggest lessons I have learned since I started my job. Even when you think no one cares, you might have just touched the life of a young research analyst, who will remember and think of you always. We will never truly know what impact we leave behind with someone. You might have changed a life today.

I am constantly reaching out. Trying to make connections with others, and learn their story. I think we all have a story to tell. We have all experienced something significant. Just imagine if we communicated that with each other more! I would love to know my friends better, and I want them to know me better. So I encourage you this weekend, to really reach out to someone. Have an actual conversation! Write a letter to a friend, or a stranger! Tell your story to someone, and really listen to theirs. You might just learn something new about yourself in the process!

Much Love,
  -E

Love Like Crazy

So.. last night was the Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn's benefit concert Bud's-N-Sud's... there was some discussion between Lindsey and I on what exactly this meant either a) bud's (friends) and sud's (drinks of the fizzy adult nature) OR b) bud's( drinks of the fizzy adult nature) and sud's (some weird foam party we were unaware of). Either way it was a blast! It was downtown on Division Street at Loser's Bar which is right next to Winner's Bar. We are very cleaver with our bar names here in Nashville ;).

As I had mentioned previously, Lindsey is with Greg, Greg is Lee Brice's tour manager, and Lee Brice was headlining the show... so naturally we were cool enough to be on "a list". So me and Lindsey and Adam the Intern headed that way around 7 after a nice dinner at my apartment, prepapred by yours truly. Now Adam the Intern is a divinity student who is interning at the church Lindsey works at, we call him Adam the Intern because Lindsey likes to nick-name people, and it's catchy. So we arrive at Loser's, park the car, and head towards the door. Now, proper "I'm on the list" etiquette is unknown to, well all of us... so after a lengthy discussion (and walk from the car) we decided to just be sweet and classic. Lindsey approached the table that said "VIP" and said "Excuse me but I'm on the list" the guy looked at her, looked down at the table (covered in lists) and said "Which one?" ummmmm silence. Lindsey responded very cooly "I am on the list for Lee Brice" and sure enough there it was LINDSEY GRISSOM +3!!! We're in!!

Lindsey and Adam the Intern

So we get our signature hand sharpie check marks, and head through the gate. The night was pretty chill, standing around having a couple of Bud's, or Sud's depending on your interpretation... talking and enjoying the music. The shows were great and the benefit was awesome! I hope they were able to raise their goal amount. Lee was last in the line-up. Greg did great with the sound! We know the band members because they sometimes frequent Sunday night cookout's at Gregs and it was so weird seeing our "friends" up on stage! Great job guys!! After the show was over, I HAD to go home... it was 12:15 A.M. and I have to leave for work at 5:30 A.M. so I headed home to sleep soundly for 4 hours before my normal 10 hour work day... but it was worth it!

* Funny Story- so I was standing on the porch behind the stage, talking to Lindsey, and turned around to see the most fabulous/awful piece of clothing I have ever personally witnessed. It was a day glow orange, polyester, short sleeved, button up, collard shirt, with cobra heads in a row aross the front chest that wrapped around the back. Underneath the cobra heads was a row of 70's style black male caricatures with afros and gold chains, and then below them, another row of cobra heads!!! It was magically disturbing... so what did we do? we got a picture with him!

Check out that pattern!

**Story is not over yet! So after we get over the shock and pure joy of seeing this... we are standing in the crowd watching the show and low and behold what do we see... but ANOTHER GUY WEARING THIS SAME SHIRT! No kidding! He was probably about 20 years younger, and just seriously trying to rock it... my mind was blown and my night- complete.

Lindsey, I am going to buy you this shirt for Christmas...

I love that the longer I am in Nashville, the more I feel that I am gaining friendships, and experiences we will always remember. I think it just always takes time to make connections, and I am so glad that I'm starting to put down some roots here! Cheers!

Much love,
  -E

F-Stop Blues

If your feeling the blues...

Don't you wanna be a pepper too?

Delicious! =) Have a wonderful Thursday everyone! I'll be posting about last nights adventures later today!

Much Love,
  -E

Yellow

Good Afternoon! So I'm at work (on my lunch break), and am just thinking about all the things that are coming up, and how I LOVE fall. On my bike ride to work this morning it was cool and crisp, and I was watching the sun rise as I peddled up and down the hills of downtown Nashville. It was beautiful. September is just around the corner, and I couldn't be more excited!

E's Top 10 Fall Pics (in no particular order):

1) UT football..... ok please let me first say that yes, the Vols have had a rough last year on and off the field but mostly off. But Rocky Top will always be my home sweet home.

2) My Birthday! October 10th, put it on your calendar =) I'll be 24

3) Halloween- gotta love a night where adults are supposed to act like kids

4) Changing of the leaves- coming from the smokies, it's almost a religious experience watching the leaves change each year. Can't wait!

5) Sweaters, and fall clothes in general- there is nothing like currling up in your favorite sweater in front of a campfire with good friends. I'm just sad I wear scrubs everyday...

6) Camping- now camping in the summer is awesome, but it gets soo hot and sticky and miserable, camping in the early fall is perfect. And I'm going Labor day weekend!

7) Fall flavored coffee's and ciders- Hello first spiced chi of the year!!

8) Christmas Lights- yes... in east TN I am used to chrsitmas lights going up WAY before Christmas... sometimes they just don't come down at all.

9) Chilli- you can eat chilli anytime of the year, but its never as good as it is in the fall.

10) Running outside- who wants to run when the heat index is 116? not this girl...

I just found out today that I am going to the beach in September! Thank goodness! I very much need a vacation... we are going to Orange Beach, Alabama for 5 days. We got a condo on the beach, and I plan on doing pretty much nothing. I won't have enough money for shopping so I'm going to devote the week to the last of summer tans, reading some books (leave me some ideas), and perfecting some culinary feats in the kitchen. Since I won't have enough money to eat out, I plan on cooking all but maybe 1 or 2 meals! Look out Lindsey, you are my new guinnea pig =). I think it will be a wonderful opportunity to just relax and recouperate and celebrate the summer of 2010 one last time!

Tonight I am going to Bud's and Sud's, a benefit concert for Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn's.. It's at Loser's downtown and I am just cool enough to be on the list, ok well Lindsey is on the list but I am a designated +1. Greg is tour managing for Lee Brice and they are playing tonight! Maybe I'll even bust out one of those fall sweaters to mark the occasion...I can't wait... and before that I'm making dinner- on the menu: mexican grilled chicken with guacamole and baked sweet potato fries! Yummy

Love it! Enjoy!

Much Love,
  -E

World Spins Madly On

So, it's monday, which is my day off. I work 4-10's so I only work Tuesday-Friday. It's an amazing schedule and I love it, but every Monday, I end up sitting at home all day alone, doing nothing, and eventually get lost in thought. Today, I got very nostalgic. Next week is my alma matters first day back to class. Everyone is moving back to Cookeville with anticipation for the coming semester, and what it will bring, and I can't help but feel sad. I miss that feeling, that the best time of my life is still ahead. Knowing that I am only days away from beginning a new class where I will eventually learn so much, meeting new people, and growing in who I am and what my life will be. I miss being surrounded by people I love, who make me laugh, and bring me up when I am down. I miss walking to class in the fall, breathing the crisp cool air on campus, being surrounded my academics and bustling life. I miss all of it. It is very difficult to transition from that life, to the next faze. I now live in an amazing city, and I have a wonderful job which is going to help me move forward in my career and has already helped me to better myself and my knowledge of the world and where I fit in. I have a great apartment, with a wonderful roommate who is great to talk to and helps keep me sane. I have a wonderful friend who I spend a majority of my time with and am blessed to have her. I love her honesty and willingness to just be herself (Lindsey, this is your shout-out!!). But yet, life has changed dramatically, and it's all new and fresh and scary. My comfort zone is gone, the walls have been torn down and I am exposed. I have direction, and yet am completely lost most days. I have friends, and am still very lonely. In college, you are thrown into a world full of people your age, all open to new experiences and making new friends. Everyone is just there. Once your out, its very difficult to find your place, and make those life long connections that just came so easily when you were 18. Professors and grades, have been replaced with bosses and performance evaluations. Classes where we learned something new everyday, has now become performing the same job everyday. Nights out have now turned into dinner alone and going to bed at 8:30 so I can make it up at 4:30 for work the next morning. How do we move from adolescence to adulthood and yet still keep that bright eyed bushy-tale optimism we had that first day of class?

Freshman year, bid day- Just the beginning

I have found over the past 3 months since college ended, that I am more capable of taking care of myself than I had previously imagined. I can actually budget my money and wake up before dawn to go to work. I can perform a job in a field I was previously ignorant of, and I can excel. I can make decisions for myself and ultimately live with the consequences. I am capable, we are all capable. At the end of the day, we decide what we want to be and how we want our lives to play out, and at the beginning of the day, we decide how we will react to the inevitable happenings that we will encounter. We are all still in the same boat, even if it is less obviously organized.

No matter what, inevitably some things will never change.

I miss my former life, I miss the past 5 years. Even though I experienced some of the most significant milestones and tragedies I will ever live through, I am blessed, because they made me who I am today. So this is the time to move forward, to embrace the truly unknown and remember that 5 years from now, I will be looking back on this time and dearly missing it as well. We cannot dwell in the past, because if we do, we will miss the beauty of the future. So when you feel sad, lonely, and lost, remember we are all there to some extent, you are never truly alone, and something great is always just around the corner. You just have to be open to it, because no matter what, the world always spins madly on.

Graduation day with one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

Much Love,
 -E

Mixtape

Hello blogging friends... I am a very bad blogger. This has become apparent to me. =/ sorry, I can't promise it will get better, but im really really going to try! So in the past month ish, things have been progressing nicely! Where to start???

OK so, I have really started to find myself as a Nashvillian. I am a member at Climb Nashville now! I LOVE it! I climb about 2-3 times a week and go to Yoga on Monday's and Thursday's. My Thursday yoga instructor is AMAZING! Cool Yoga Dude's class will completely kick your butt, but you feel wonderful when you leave! I am also becoming a regular at some of my favorite Nashville hotspots... for those of you who love FroYo, check out Sweet Cece's. I also hit up Sam's frequently, and have Sunday night cookouts and my friend Greg's house! I am finally starting to feel like I fit in, and am making a path formyself in this big city!

NEWSFLASH- This is a big update, so keep reading! I have been thinking about my plans for the future, ya know that time after Grad School. I am going to have a lot of debt (60,000+) and am still going to want to move forward with my PhD. I probably shouldn't post this, but I trust you guys... I am seriously, seriously considering joinging the Navy! It is a really good idea for me, I can go in with a speciality, work in a field that I am very interested in, as a Navy PhD Counselor working with sailors and families through grief and loss and post-traumatic stress disorder. It's not a definite, but I kinda figure why not? It's something I want to do, and you only live once right? I'll keep y'all updated =)

Now, my job... I just hit my 90 days! yay!!! I am eagerly waiting for my review and hopefully the subsequent raise that comes along with it.

This is where I work all day!

Most awesome mouse pad ever...

Look, my name is on an office door!

So theres a little sneak peak into 40 hours of my week! I am really enjoying what I do, and am looking forward to getting even better and more comfortable in my position...Research Analyst I (hoping to be a II one day)

Weight Watchers update... so I slacked, big time for a couple of weeks, and so have since the last post, only gotten down to 152.4 This is 14.4.lbs down from my original start weight. I am hoping to drop below 150 in the next 3 weeks!

Living the good life- note this was a night where I went WAY over my points ;)

New Developments- I now have a pen pal! I am very excited about this retro passtime... I even ordered some sweet new stationary... I am pumped. So if my new pen pal is reading this- You Rock! I even have started a budget... I keep it on an excel file on the jump drive on my keychain. I have done pretty good so far about keeping up with it and am hoping I can really focus on building my savings. We will see how it goes, but so far it has really helped me out.

Well folks, I PROMISE I will update at least once a week from now on... So keep tuned, I have some interesting things comming up! Preview- I am wanting to start my own 365 day project... check out my amazing inspiration!

Much Love,
-E