Raggamuffin

Today I had to go to work for a little bit. I had a meeting with the director of Gilda's Club to organize their involvement with our research study we are working on right now. The place is amazing. It is a place for family members and friends who have been touched by cancer, and also for patients suffering from cancer. This place is like my dream job! They have lots of fun activities for kids, including an entire art room! The director and I talked for a few minutes about me volunteering there, and she was very excited to find out my background in Art Education, as well as my career goals to become a grief and loss specialist and counselor. I hope one day I can work for such an amazing company, and in the mean time I plan on doing lots of volunteer work with them!!

Oxford Comma

This weekend I am sleeping in so much. Tomorrow night after work, I am going out with Brad, then probably going to sleep until at least noon on Saturday. ok, really I will probably wake up around 9, but I'm going to give it a valiant effort. The Saturday afternoon is Molly and Garver's wedding (I am sooo excited! Congrats kids!) Then Sunday and Monday is going to consist of lots of the following:

Flannel Pajamas
Pumpkin Spice Coffee
Netflix Movies
Naps
Food
Yarn Ordering (payday tomorrow :0)

I will also be working on an overtime project from work. I am making an iMovie to use for training/ conference purposes. I get to use my creative side and art training!!! I am pretty excited about that as well. Should shape up to be a very relaxing and productive weekend!

Much Love,
  -E

Lemonade

Somedays I find myself daydreaming on and off continually. When work gets really stressful, like today for example, I let my mind wander to a different place for a little while. I imagine what it would be like to truly break free of this life, this place, these rules, this persona. Go somewhere else, be someone else, and do something else. This isn't in a sad way, just an adventure. Losing myself to find myself sort of thing. Today I went back to my trip to New York City in March of '07. I was 20 and in town for an Art Educators Conference. I remember the crispness of the city. I remember walking through Rockefeller Center through 4 foot snow drifts, getting coffee and doughnuts across the street at Starbucks, hitting the town for St. Patricks Day. I felt very alive, and vibrant, and new. I remember having the distinct feeling, for the first time, that I was in charge of my own universe, and my own destiny. I think today, we lose that understanding so quickly. We become controlled by our job, our boss, what we think we are "supposed" to be doing. We lose sight that any day we can change our situation. I could wake up tomorrow and decide I want to become an interior designer, and as long as I stay true to what I want, I can make it happen. I can make anything happen, and that realization can sometimes stunt us from moving towards our dreams more than hiding behind our inhibitions.

On days like today, I have to remind myself that life isn't perfect. It's messy, and unreliable, and chaotic. No one is perfect, not even the people we perceive to be so. No one does everything right, and everyone will majorly screw things up from time to time. I also have to remind myself that what I am doing now is a stepping stone. It's not the end all be all, it isn't my career, but it is a big part in my future. I won't wake up tomorrow and decide to be an interior designer (I don't think) but I will wake up tomorrow and know that I am moving in the right direction. The only person who truly is in control over me is God, and through his unfailing love, I can do anything. I am realizing my potential, and I won't stop. Like I told Keeli tonight "Enjoy yourself! Relax! Don't think about work... that's just a job. Enjoy your life!"

Much Love,
  -E

All These Things

Tuesday, first day of the work week. I have thoroughly enjoyed the storms today, and the blanket of yellow and red leaves that are now covering my backyard. I went grocery shopping and bought lots of yummy things for salads, and breakfast, and pumpkin spice coffee with chocolate toffee creamer. For dinner I'm making a roasted portobello mushroom stuffed with spinach leaves, feta cheese, tomatoes and onions. Delicious! I plan on curling up in bed with some Grey's Anatomy, pumpkin spice coffee, and flannel PJs and hanging out tonight.

I have received confirmation on my grad school interview. November 1 @ 10:00 A.M. I am excited and nervous all at once. I have submitted half of my required materials. Still missing 2 reference letters, letter of intent, and GRE scores. Getting there slowly.

I bought a beautiful hand knitted beret today from a friend. Check this girl out!! We went to school together and she has really enhanced her work, and strived to create beautiful pieces with style, flare, and personality. Oh and they are ALL hand knitted, woven, and sewn! I can't wait to get my beret!!! I'm probably going to wear it everywhere!

Can't wait till I can get some overtime hours, and overtime pay, and some yarn! It has taken a while, but its a process, after buying the loom and some other equipment I had to give the bank account a break... But nights like tonight make me eager to get back on it! I also want to learn how to knit now ;)

Much love,
  -E

Unbroken Promise

Today I have been thinking a lot about the future, where I'm going and what I want. David and I had a wonderful weekend in Knoxville with some amazing friends and when we began the long trek back (Nashville for me, Memphis for him) I started thinking about him leaving, again. For over 3 years now, ever time we see each other, at the end of our time, one of us has to leave. At first, it was very difficult, then it became routine, then second nature, and now it has made its way back around to be being difficult. I hate watching him walk down the stairs to his car knowing it will be another 1,2, or 3 weeks before I see him again. Sometimes I feel like I'm wishing my life away in the time we are apart, just anticipating being with him again. My 24th birthday was yesterday, and as I was driving back today I was thinking "wow, I am really 24, I have really graduated from college, I am sort of an adult now." It was weird. Most day's I still feel like a kid, and act like a kid, and so does David. I think we are both slowly moving into a direction that will bring us closer together. All I know is that tonight I would love to be cuddling up to him in our bed, in our house, and actually have the opportunity to have a life together. Trying to find a balance between what you want to do and what you want to have with someone can be very difficult.

Key Question: Where do you see yourself in 5 years??

There are two parts of me answering this question. The first part is my over analyzing side, that likes to plan everything in advance, organize, and figure out the answers. That part says; finished with grad school, married or engaged, working towards PhD and really good at rock climbing. Also, have a couch. The second part of me, the more liberal, life by the seat of your pants kinda side says, WHY DO I HAVE TO KNOW?? This side says; life happens, why plan, why not just go with it and enjoy the ride, figure out some short term goals and work on those, just have fun and relax. Trying to balance this constant struggle between thinking sides is rough. So for now, I have a rough guess as to what my life might possibly look like in 5 years, but mostly am just trying to focus on the short term. I know sort of where I am going, and I don't really feel like I have to have more answers than that. 

So for the short term:

*I need to get into Grad School. Half way through application materials as of today, and have a interview November 1st. Sitting in on a class October 19th. 

*Need to figure out a Halloween costume... any suggestions?

*Clean my studio and order some yarn

*Book flights of Me, David, and Brad for New Year's Eve. Going to see my dear friend Anna, since it is tradition that the four of us spend it together. 

I think that will work for now. If you haven't noticed by now, no matter how I analyze a situation, that first side of me will always win over with some sort of to-do list. Guess that's just my style. 

Much Love,

  -E

Son of a Gun

OK, last night was awesome!!! Thank you to all my amazing friends who came out to celebrate with me!! Now I'm heading to Knox for the weekend to continue!!! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend as well! The weather is soooo beautiful here, go out and enjoy it!!!

Much Love,
   -E

Mi Amigo

Today begins the Birthday Weekend Celebration! Very very exciting. For those of you who have been reading for some time, you might remember last year ON my birthday I was taken to the ER for the Swine Flu. That's right ligitimate H1N1 swine flu. It sucked. Needless to say, I didn't really get to celebrate. So, this year we are going all out! Tonight, Mexican fiesta dinner at Las Palmas in Nashville with some awesome people, tomorrow day/night UT football game watching, beer drinking, best friend time back in Knoxville with Rusty, Meg, and Jess, then Sunday, family & friend cookout party complete with presents and bonfire!! I can not wait. I was talking to someone yesterday at work, and they were talking about fancy dinner parties and trendy (expensive) places in Nashville they would want to go for their birthday. In this conversation I had an epiphany, I am so not that way. I always say to each their own, and this particular person really enjoys the finer things in life, and good for him! For me, nothing sounds better than grabbing some drinks and sitting around a campfire, or going to a sorta sketchy restaurant with amazing food and inviting anyone who wants to come. I love my friends, and I really enjoy quality time with them. I am such a conversationalist, I really want to know who YOU are and what you like. I love making connections with people and just generally being around others. So thats what I plan to do for my birthday, surround myself with the people I love and have as much fun as I possibly can.

I can't wait for that first birthday margaritta ;)

Sleeping Lessons

Some days, getting up at 4:30 A.M. for work is not so bad... some days I push the snooze button every 5 minutes for 30 minutes, then lay here and stare at the wall till the very last minute before I have to get up and put on my scrubs. Today was the latter. My bed is too comfortable.

One day, I'll have a job where I get to go in at 9 instead of 5:45.

Wake-N-Bacon....  an alarm clock- its shaped like a giant pig face, and cooks bacon right next to your bed.  Maybe this would help?

Let's Stay Together

Oh friends. Something interesting I have been thinking about today, is you guys, my friends. I am so thankful to read my comments and feel loved from my weaving ladies (Joanna, Allison --> thats you! haha)  and to see when my friends write a blog just about me (love to Amber). Yesterday I checked out my viewing history on my blog and I had people reading it in like 12 other COUNTRIES! I had no idea. My dad has always told me that you only have a few "true" friends in your whole life, but I am going to disagree with him. I think you will have a lot of "true" friends throughout the course of your life, but they will just come at different times. Just because you part ways or lose touch does that mean you weren't really friends to begin with? No, I don't think so. I don't think we can quantify the importance of something based on how long it lasted. I had some amazing friends in college who were really true friends whom I have lost touch with. It's not because anything bad happened, or we don't like each other anymore, it just happens. LIFE happens. People will come into and out of your life on the regular, and I think we all to come to each other for different reasons. This beautiful fall weather and the excitement of the future has helped to remind me to slow down and be appreciative of everything I have, and that especially includes my friends past and present, who have all played a big role in my life. So thanks my loves.

I spent a great deal of time today thinking about weaving. My bobbin winder and heddle hook with be here Tuesday (yay!!!) and I plan on purchasing some yarn with the next paycheck. Fall reminds me very fondly of being in the study all night listening to music with the doors and windows open, letting the crisp cool breeze roll through while I used my hands and my talent to CREATE something. This is something I wish everyone could experience, but alas only very few of us do. Very sad. But I have my loom, my studio (pictures to come soon), and will be ready to begin working shortly. I can't wait to through on the tunes and start working my weaving patterns.

Here are the things I have been thinking on lately...

Much Love,
  -E

Restart

Yes, it has been a month. Sorry... and I was doing so well!

Anywho, good to be back on. Nothing life changing has happened, just general everyday life that gets in the way. I have been trying to get my apartment cleaned, get into graduate school (again), and get ready for FALL!! And now it's here, along with my birthday this weekend! I am really excited!! Plans- going home to Knoxville for fun times with the best friends I have ever had (shout out to Jessica, Megan, and Rusty) and chill out with the ever dysfunctional family that I wouldn't trade for the world.

I have recently gone back to primal living. What is this you ask?? Primal is just a way of living that honors what our bodies were designed to accomplish, and encourages us to be the healthiest we can. I did it for a month in May, and honestly felt amazing, so I'm back on it and am feeling great! I really enjoy finding new recipes and cooking amazingly healthy food that tastes great too!

My goals for October is a small list, but I'm pretty excited about it all

1) start a weaving project
2) finish Grad school application
3) get apartment cleaned, studio organized, room situated
4) find an awesome Halloween costume

4 things in a month, I think that is fairly do-able!!

Birthday presents??? Yarn please!!!

Much Love,
  -E