Hello friends! I can't believe it has been since June 18th since i last posted! Feels like i just did it the other day! Anywho, I had an amazing weekend with David for the 4th and per my request we did not go to visit his parents. Now let me explain... I LOVE David's family. they are amazing people and will do anything for anyone, but every time David comes in town we go to visit them, and I was so excited to have a weekend where it was just us! I love spending time with them, but I also love spending time with him. So, instead of going to visit the rents we went hiking, to the movies, out with friends, watched the fireworks, and took long naps in the day. It was fabulous and only made me wish he was here with me more. Sunday, we went to Hermitage down to the lake so he could get some grave for his aquarium. We stopped at McDonalds (don't worry, took my Weight Watchers book with me and stayed on point) and had a little picnic by the water. We spent so much time talking all weekend it was really nice. I am always amazed at how candidly and open we can be with each other, and how we are very much on the same page. We drove around and looked at houses we liked and talked about the future. No plans were made, more of out loud uncensored day dreaming on both out parts, which is more than fine with me at this juncture.
Which brings me to my next topic... GRADUATE SCHOOL! In some ways this is the most exciting phrase in my vocabulary currently, and in others, the most looming. I so desperately want to go to grad school. I know exactly what I want to do. I want to go into Counseling and get my masters and Licensure of Professional Counseling (LPC) and Mental Health Licensure. Here's the problems thus far...
1) when should I begin? ASAP would be my ideal answer but I want to work for a while. I can always work and go part time, but do I really want to do that right now? Would it make more sense to wait a year or two after I have gained some real world experience and begin, or start now and go at it slowly? Also, so I want to wait for 2 more years before i start really? I'l be 26 when i start the almost 30 when I'm out...
2) Where should I go? I wanted to go to Vanderbilt SO BAD, and when I didn't get in it really sucked. But in ways it opened more doors for me and I am glad in the long run that I am not starting there in the fall. Now I am also looking at David Lipsomb University. Then there is always MTSU, and Treveca. At first I said "who care about the name? It's the education that matters" now I seem to be all comsumed by the idea that if I don't choose the best school with the most recognizable name that I am somehow failing?? I have always been a bit of an over-acheiver, but even I am finding this idea completely ridiculous.
So there you have it, my current inner drama. Right now I know it is most important for me to figure out what I want to do, where I am going, and who I want to become. I want to focus on me, I want to do whats right for me. How many years of our lives are we granted the opportunity to , as my good friend Anna said, be so self indulgent? How many years do we get to be independent, and flighty with no regard to a husband or children? Not that many, and I want to take advantage of this time, which brings me to my third major kink...
3) No matter how much of this independence I keep searching for, I will always plan for David in the equation. This is not a bad thing mind you, its just something else I take into account. I am so desperately, pathetically in love with him, and I will always consider his feelings, stance, and goals for himself when planning for mine. I know he will give me all the space in the world for me to accomplish my goals, but I want to make sure that when I set out to do this, he is thought of. I don't want to do the long distance thing anymore, and I eventually would like to have what resembles a normal see-each-other-on-a-daily-basis relationship. So, when I start making plans for my future I try to remember that it's his future too.
So yeah, I don't know whats going to happen in the next few years, but I do know that I have a stable job that pays enough to survive on, a wonderful relationship with someone who adores me as much as I adore him and will give me the freedom i need to accomplish my goals, and that I am blessed beyond measure at the opportunities before me. I'm just hoping that the rest will all fall into place.
On a very off subject side note, Weight Watchers!! I lost 3more lbs putting me officially down to 153.6 13.2 lbs down from the original start on May 15th at 166.8. I missed my meeting last week cause I was sick, so I'm hoping when I go this thursday, Debbie will have good news from the scales. I'll let you know!!
Much Love,
-E
