Hello all, well things here have been busy! So much has happened since the last time I wrote so this will be a long one. Im living in Nashville, trying to make plans for the future. I found out the other day that I didn't get into Vanderbilt for grad school, which sucks, but I'm staying positive that God will provide and show me his will. Obviously I didn't get in for some reason, now I just have to figure out what that is. I'm hoping to really start a life here, but right now that seems like a strange concept. I feel in limbo and I hate that. I'm moving downtown close to 21st and Belmont and I'm super excited for that, I just hope that things start to feel more normal soon. Right now it all feels weird and chaotic. I'm working at a job I don't like and decided to quit and finish out the school year and focus on me for a bit. I hope this was the best decision, and I feel like it is. I miss my friends and my comfortable familiar life in Cookeville, but I have to move forward and have some life experiences on my own. I'm hoping to find a full time job after Graduation and get settled into a routine here, make some friends, and some progress.
David is trying to get a job back here in Nashville, and I am praying everyday that it happens soon. I really feel like we are at that point where we need to be able to spend time together and see each other on a normal basis, this long distance stuff just is not cool. I daydream about the time we will get to spend together when he's here. We can go on dates and just be able to spend quality time together and I know David will be so much happier in Tennessee, and I will be much more happy with him here. He just calms me and helps me be more centered and not freak out about the little things I can't change. We are so different from each other, but its a good different. David doesn't worry about anything and I worry about everything! I miss him every day. I thought it would be a good idea to move there if I didn't get into Grad school, but after we talked about it a bit I decided that it would be best to stay here. =( I am sad though that I don't know how much longer this is all going to last. Hopefully not to much longer.
Im trying to stay positive about everything and work through all the changes. My anxiety levels have been out the roof lately, just feeling panicky and nervous all the time. I'm hoping that after i start at my next placement and get back into a routine I will feel better about it all. I move into my new place next weekend and I'm excited to get in and decorate and make it a comfy home! Please pray for me and the next couple of months! I hope that God will just show me the way and help me to find a purpose in this crazy life! I know I'm meant to do something good and meaningful... now just to figure out what that is!
-Em
