Unbroken Promise

Today I have been thinking a lot about the future, where I'm going and what I want. David and I had a wonderful weekend in Knoxville with some amazing friends and when we began the long trek back (Nashville for me, Memphis for him) I started thinking about him leaving, again. For over 3 years now, ever time we see each other, at the end of our time, one of us has to leave. At first, it was very difficult, then it became routine, then second nature, and now it has made its way back around to be being difficult. I hate watching him walk down the stairs to his car knowing it will be another 1,2, or 3 weeks before I see him again. Sometimes I feel like I'm wishing my life away in the time we are apart, just anticipating being with him again. My 24th birthday was yesterday, and as I was driving back today I was thinking "wow, I am really 24, I have really graduated from college, I am sort of an adult now." It was weird. Most day's I still feel like a kid, and act like a kid, and so does David. I think we are both slowly moving into a direction that will bring us closer together. All I know is that tonight I would love to be cuddling up to him in our bed, in our house, and actually have the opportunity to have a life together. Trying to find a balance between what you want to do and what you want to have with someone can be very difficult.

Key Question: Where do you see yourself in 5 years??

There are two parts of me answering this question. The first part is my over analyzing side, that likes to plan everything in advance, organize, and figure out the answers. That part says; finished with grad school, married or engaged, working towards PhD and really good at rock climbing. Also, have a couch. The second part of me, the more liberal, life by the seat of your pants kinda side says, WHY DO I HAVE TO KNOW?? This side says; life happens, why plan, why not just go with it and enjoy the ride, figure out some short term goals and work on those, just have fun and relax. Trying to balance this constant struggle between thinking sides is rough. So for now, I have a rough guess as to what my life might possibly look like in 5 years, but mostly am just trying to focus on the short term. I know sort of where I am going, and I don't really feel like I have to have more answers than that. 

So for the short term:

*I need to get into Grad School. Half way through application materials as of today, and have a interview November 1st. Sitting in on a class October 19th. 

*Need to figure out a Halloween costume... any suggestions?

*Clean my studio and order some yarn

*Book flights of Me, David, and Brad for New Year's Eve. Going to see my dear friend Anna, since it is tradition that the four of us spend it together. 

I think that will work for now. If you haven't noticed by now, no matter how I analyze a situation, that first side of me will always win over with some sort of to-do list. Guess that's just my style. 

Much Love,

  -E