Here is an interesting conundrum... How are 2 people who's entire relationship (3 1/2 years now) has been long distance supposed to co-habitate in the same space for 12 days? Now don't get me wrong, David and I have spent long periods of time together, this isn't new, but it's weird because this also isn't vacation. He is here for work all week, and I'm also working, so this is normal, everyday co-habitation. Eat dinner together, work around each other schedules, go to bed early, sort of normal everyday behavior. Now, David and I have normal everyday behavior, but it is more like that of a single person. I have my schedule, I have my groceries for the week, I have my own things going on, but as a couple we don't have a normal routine. We don't even eat the same types of food! David watches his favorite TV shows during the week, I don't have cable. I get all my food from the farmers market, David eats out a lot. I go to bed at 8 and get up at 4:30, David goes to bed at 10 and gets up at 6. I have my fitness class schedule to keep, and he doesn't like yoga. As you can see, should be interesting. And it's not even that I don't think we can live together. I think after doing this for a WHILE we could figure it out and work through it, but this is just a short little preview of what it might be like one day if we ever do get to live around/with each other. We are two people in a relationship who live like we are bachelors. I have no one else's schedule to keep but mine. I can eat a turkey sandwich for dinner at 5 or 10, whatever I want, and he can do the same. It really is such a give and take when you are sharing the same space. But, at the same time I believe it is crucial to continue with your own schedule to some degree, keep doing the things YOU love as an individual and let your partner do the same. If you spend all your waking time together what do you talk about??
David and I did live together one time. It seems like AGES ago. We met in March of 2007, on spring break (I know, you don't even have to say it) in Panama City Beach (again, I know). We are the couple that NEVER should have worked out... you can decide for yourself how it all went down, but I'm not going to divulge all the details. What happens in PCB stays in PCB. ;) so anyway, it was March 4th when we met, and that day has become our anniversary. We were completely inseparable. He came to me at the right time in my life, and I to him. I would love to say it was all romantic love at first sight, but not so much. He was supposed to leave right after we got there, but he stayed to catch my attention. I was not interested. Nothing against David, but I just got out of a nasty break up and just didn't want to deal with ANY man. But he was persistent and stayed the week. It wasn't long before I really started falling hard. We spent the entire week together, then vacation was over and it was time to go home. He left a day early to go visit a friend and we had a date planned for the next evening, back in Cookeville. We texted all night and I was excited and nervous and basically ecstatic for our first date. My car left early the next morning to head home over the long 9 hour drive. We were all in 3 cars, and all ended up getting separated and driving different routes. I chose the wrong route. I-65 straight up through Alabama = HUGE wreck, and a 6 1/2 hour delay in stand still traffic. I was devastated. David was living and working in Nashville at the time, so no date. I finally got to Cookeville around midnight, dropped off my friends and headed home. When I got there he was sitting on my porch. He stayed with me all week, but on Thursday, I was flying to New York for a conference, and on Sunday, he was moving to Miami. So I flew off Thursday, terrified of what was going to happen with us. When I got back the next week he was already gone. He left a gift on my porch before he moved. It was an antique camera, watercolor paper, new brushes and paint, and a card.
So this began our first round of long distance. David and I spent the first 3 months of our relationship trying to get to know each other through e-mails, letters, phone conversations and text messages. I will say, it was the most romantic time of our relationship. We were both really falling in love, and I got to learn more about him than I would have if he had been here. We had to learn how to communicate with each other in a real way, so I am very appreciative of this time. In those 3 months we saw each other 3 times. The first being Easter. He flew home and this was the first time I realized I was in love with him. The second, St Augustine. I woke up one friday and decided I had to see him. So I skipped class and drove 10 hours to Florida, and he drove up 8 from Miami and we stayed in a crappy little cheap hotel and had the most amazing time. The third, I flew to Miami. I HATE to fly, so this says something about how much I wanted to be with him.
I got off the plane in Miami, and he took me to his "house". David was working for Rutger's University in the everglades on a bird conservation project. So, he was staying in a rangers cabin with some other employees. He had the tiniest little twin bed, in a dorm sized room. We spent a week visiting the keys, driving through Miami, and just basically relishing the fact that after 3 months we got to see each other for more than 2 days. The David threw in the biggest curve ball (not to date, he has outdone this since then but at the time HUGE!) I was supposed to fly out on a Thursday, back to Panama City Beach to meet my friend Eve, then drive back to Tennessee with her. On Tuesday night David said, "what if I came back with you?" I laughed and told him not to tease me and that was all he said about it. Little did I know, he had already turned in his notice at work. The next night he told me he had quit, I helped him pack up all his belongings, we loaded down the jeep, and I never made my flight out the next day.
When we got back from Miami, we decided that he would stay with me for a few weeks till he found a place of his own. After 3 months, we decided my house was as good as any, and it was nice to have his help on the rent. So from May to November we lived together with my roommate Lindsey in our 3 bedroom rented house in Cookeville. He went back to work with the water plant, and I was in school. We hit our rough patches of course, but we made it through.
In mid November, I caught him on the internet looking at jobs in coastal Mississippi. I was so angry. I walked out of the room and immediately went into the bathroom, locked the door and took a shower. *the bathroom is my hiding place when i get angry. don't know why, but it always has been* 2 weeks later, he flew to Biloxi for a job interview, and he moved January 1, 2008. This started the 2 1/2 year, 8 1/2 hour separation.
Biloxi is another story for another blog, but we survived it. David got a job in May with the Tennessee Bureau of Investigations, and has moved to Memphis. so we are still dealing with long distance, and what seems like eternal separation, but at least now we get to see each other ever weekend. This week is the closest to really living together we have gotten on 3 years, and I am just hoping it goes smoothly, but if not, it won't be the worst thing that has ever happened to us. Now when I come home cranky from work, he can't just get off the phone or visa-versa, we actually have to deal with each other...
Much Love,
-E
