So I fixed up the layout... I liked the other one but I needed a change... I don't know if I'll keep this one or not just trying it out for now!
So tonight is my first official Weight Watchers meeting. I'm getting all my information tonight and start bright and early tomorrow! I am really really excited, but also nervous. I feel like over the past 5 years I have hidden behind this person I am today, hidden behind my imperfections and short comings that I knew I could change and improve, but have chosen not to out of fear or self loathing. I have basically told myself for a long time that i don't deserve to be my best, I don't deserve to feel good about myself, but I'm so tired of hating on myself. If I don't make the necessary steps to treat myself right how can I ever expect anyone else to treat me right??? I am ready for this change, but still scared of having nothing to hide behind anymore. I can't make excuses anymore. I really want to be the best person I can be and this is where it starts, here with me , now, today. It's not a vanity thing, I'm not doing this to get attention or to make other people think better about me, I'm doing this for myself. I want to feel better and BE better, and right now I know I'm not living up to that potential I have... besides you are only young once, and I feel like I should use my youthfullness to it's fullest extent!
Fun fact today: Did you know that monkey's always open bananas from the bottom? The top is too unreliable, but a banana will ALWAYS peel from the bottom! Try it =)
Much Love,
-E
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
June
Hey all! I'm at work right now waiting on a staff meeting and thought I would update! I'm going to work on my layout today, so tell me what you think when it's done... I think the text is just a little hard to read.
Hope everyone had a great memorial day weekend! I went kayaking with David and hiking and swimming and camping... it was awesome! 4 day weekends never last as long as you think they will. Being back at work is nice though, I really love my job. Everyday I feel more confident in what I'm doing and am learning ALOT. on a side note if you want to see something funny go to http://www.neuticles.com/! so funny.
My computer at work is currently down. They decided it needed to be rebuilt and the IT guy came yesterday and ripped her guts out and left and I havn't seen him since. he said he would be back to fix her around 11 today and well, I think he's late. I just got a new mousepad and calendar in the mail yesterday so im sad I have to sit at another desk right now... im going to bring some flowers and a vase and some other office decorations with me tomorrow and I'll post a picture of my work area once its fixed up!
So I've been running and riding my bike a lot and I'm down 9 lbs from 2 weeks ago! I started at 166 and am not at 157. My doctor has me on a crazy restrictive diet for a condition I have called Candida... google it it's pretty interesting (gross). The diet is only for another week and a half, and I start Weight Watchers TOMORROW!!! I'm so pumped... I don't think I'll know what to do with myself once i reach my goal weight (135). Guess we will just have to wait and see what happens with it all!
Much Love,
-E
Hope everyone had a great memorial day weekend! I went kayaking with David and hiking and swimming and camping... it was awesome! 4 day weekends never last as long as you think they will. Being back at work is nice though, I really love my job. Everyday I feel more confident in what I'm doing and am learning ALOT. on a side note if you want to see something funny go to http://www.neuticles.com/! so funny.
My computer at work is currently down. They decided it needed to be rebuilt and the IT guy came yesterday and ripped her guts out and left and I havn't seen him since. he said he would be back to fix her around 11 today and well, I think he's late. I just got a new mousepad and calendar in the mail yesterday so im sad I have to sit at another desk right now... im going to bring some flowers and a vase and some other office decorations with me tomorrow and I'll post a picture of my work area once its fixed up!
So I've been running and riding my bike a lot and I'm down 9 lbs from 2 weeks ago! I started at 166 and am not at 157. My doctor has me on a crazy restrictive diet for a condition I have called Candida... google it it's pretty interesting (gross). The diet is only for another week and a half, and I start Weight Watchers TOMORROW!!! I'm so pumped... I don't think I'll know what to do with myself once i reach my goal weight (135). Guess we will just have to wait and see what happens with it all!
Much Love,
-E
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes!!!
OMG it has been over 2 months since I last posted! Sorry everyone... I am going to be better about this... promise (maybe =D)... so much has happened so here a shortened list...
1) Finished student teaching
2) GRADUATED from TTU
3) Got my first adult big kid job at Vanderbilt University Medical Center
4) David got a job in Memphis and has already moved out of Biloxi!!! YAY!!
5) New apartment downtown with a new awesome roomie!!
6) my job has benefits!! so i now have dental and vision insurance and yes I AM SO EXCITED!!
7) found a new church that I love and am working through some personal issues to become a more Godly woman and live my life according to HIS PLAN!!!
My life has taken so many turns in the past 2 months and has finally started on a straighter path that is turning out to be an amazing journey! I am working to become the best person I possibly can be and working through some personal demons that have affected me in every avenue of my life up until now.
When I started this blog the purpose was to track my working out and running journeys, hoping to be held accountable and stay on track... well that hasn't happened. As most of you know I have been on a continual roller coaster trying desperately to lose weight and be healthy fit and comfortable in my own skin. I currently sit at 159 but my goal weight is 135, a number I haven't seen since high school. It wasn't until the other day that I got "The Rude Awakening" as you might call it. It came in the form of a book called Women, Food and God. I have yet to read it but by just reading the excerpt I was floored. The book centers around women's struggles to lose weight and constant battles with food. Who did that remind me of?? ME! So I read the article and swear I think the woman wrote the book for me. It spoke about how we will never have the life we want, the body we want, the health we want until we can truly face our personal issues head on and deal with them and stop using our vices to cover them up... wow true that. For years I have used vices to deal with my problems, problems with family (don't get me started), friends, image, worthiness, love, and trust. I have used food, alcohol, cigarettes, and even my studio work as a cover up. Everyone wants their life to seem to everyone else as amazing. "Things are going great an I've never been happier", but in reality we all have issues we struggle with and very few of us actually deal with them! Thats what I am going to start doing. Instead of punishing and blaming myself for my issues, im going to start working through them one by one, and as I do this I am going to start taking better care of myself and treating my body like the temple God created it to be. Does this mean I won't go out and have a few drinks with my friends? NO!! I want to still have fun and be social and I do like to drink, but I'm going to only go out when its because I want to have fun and am in a good place... not because I had a bad day or am feeling fat (cause alcohol really makes you feel skinny?? haha dumb) or because I'm trying to avoid a problem and am trying to just make it go away. Doing anything for the wrong reason never got me anywhere, and its sad that at 23 I'm just now realizing this.
I had a really amazing conversation with a good friend the other afternoon. We were sitting by the pool laying out after church and a great mexican lunch, and we starting discussing life outside of college. In reality, I (and my friend) are both extremely lucky!! We both have good jobs, amazing apartments with low rent and living costs, good friends, and are pretty much carefree. I really don't worry about to much these days. I go to a job I love every morning (even thought its 4:00 when I wake up) and then when I get home I'm done... no homework, no worrying about bills cause my job pays my bills, just really carefree. I have my nights and weekends to do as I please, and spend my days helping people and working for a great cause towards better cancer research and treatments. so in a nut shell i'm very blessed, and I have never really given much thought or thanks to God for this. Because of Him I am blessed, he has given me this life, and i'm not going to take advantage of it anymore.
So over next next few months of living and blogging, I'll be working through my issues, growing stronger in my walk with Christ, and working on myself. I went to see a vitamin doctor and have been eating better, taking loads of vitamins everyday, and I ride my bike to work! I am really working towards living the best life possible!! so stay tuned for more as this new journey unfolds!
Much Love
- E
1) Finished student teaching
2) GRADUATED from TTU
3) Got my first adult big kid job at Vanderbilt University Medical Center
4) David got a job in Memphis and has already moved out of Biloxi!!! YAY!!
5) New apartment downtown with a new awesome roomie!!
6) my job has benefits!! so i now have dental and vision insurance and yes I AM SO EXCITED!!
7) found a new church that I love and am working through some personal issues to become a more Godly woman and live my life according to HIS PLAN!!!
My life has taken so many turns in the past 2 months and has finally started on a straighter path that is turning out to be an amazing journey! I am working to become the best person I possibly can be and working through some personal demons that have affected me in every avenue of my life up until now.
When I started this blog the purpose was to track my working out and running journeys, hoping to be held accountable and stay on track... well that hasn't happened. As most of you know I have been on a continual roller coaster trying desperately to lose weight and be healthy fit and comfortable in my own skin. I currently sit at 159 but my goal weight is 135, a number I haven't seen since high school. It wasn't until the other day that I got "The Rude Awakening" as you might call it. It came in the form of a book called Women, Food and God. I have yet to read it but by just reading the excerpt I was floored. The book centers around women's struggles to lose weight and constant battles with food. Who did that remind me of?? ME! So I read the article and swear I think the woman wrote the book for me. It spoke about how we will never have the life we want, the body we want, the health we want until we can truly face our personal issues head on and deal with them and stop using our vices to cover them up... wow true that. For years I have used vices to deal with my problems, problems with family (don't get me started), friends, image, worthiness, love, and trust. I have used food, alcohol, cigarettes, and even my studio work as a cover up. Everyone wants their life to seem to everyone else as amazing. "Things are going great an I've never been happier", but in reality we all have issues we struggle with and very few of us actually deal with them! Thats what I am going to start doing. Instead of punishing and blaming myself for my issues, im going to start working through them one by one, and as I do this I am going to start taking better care of myself and treating my body like the temple God created it to be. Does this mean I won't go out and have a few drinks with my friends? NO!! I want to still have fun and be social and I do like to drink, but I'm going to only go out when its because I want to have fun and am in a good place... not because I had a bad day or am feeling fat (cause alcohol really makes you feel skinny?? haha dumb) or because I'm trying to avoid a problem and am trying to just make it go away. Doing anything for the wrong reason never got me anywhere, and its sad that at 23 I'm just now realizing this.
I had a really amazing conversation with a good friend the other afternoon. We were sitting by the pool laying out after church and a great mexican lunch, and we starting discussing life outside of college. In reality, I (and my friend) are both extremely lucky!! We both have good jobs, amazing apartments with low rent and living costs, good friends, and are pretty much carefree. I really don't worry about to much these days. I go to a job I love every morning (even thought its 4:00 when I wake up) and then when I get home I'm done... no homework, no worrying about bills cause my job pays my bills, just really carefree. I have my nights and weekends to do as I please, and spend my days helping people and working for a great cause towards better cancer research and treatments. so in a nut shell i'm very blessed, and I have never really given much thought or thanks to God for this. Because of Him I am blessed, he has given me this life, and i'm not going to take advantage of it anymore.
So over next next few months of living and blogging, I'll be working through my issues, growing stronger in my walk with Christ, and working on myself. I went to see a vitamin doctor and have been eating better, taking loads of vitamins everyday, and I ride my bike to work! I am really working towards living the best life possible!! so stay tuned for more as this new journey unfolds!
Much Love
- E
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Where am I going???
Hello all, well things here have been busy! So much has happened since the last time I wrote so this will be a long one. Im living in Nashville, trying to make plans for the future. I found out the other day that I didn't get into Vanderbilt for grad school, which sucks, but I'm staying positive that God will provide and show me his will. Obviously I didn't get in for some reason, now I just have to figure out what that is. I'm hoping to really start a life here, but right now that seems like a strange concept. I feel in limbo and I hate that. I'm moving downtown close to 21st and Belmont and I'm super excited for that, I just hope that things start to feel more normal soon. Right now it all feels weird and chaotic. I'm working at a job I don't like and decided to quit and finish out the school year and focus on me for a bit. I hope this was the best decision, and I feel like it is. I miss my friends and my comfortable familiar life in Cookeville, but I have to move forward and have some life experiences on my own. I'm hoping to find a full time job after Graduation and get settled into a routine here, make some friends, and some progress.
David is trying to get a job back here in Nashville, and I am praying everyday that it happens soon. I really feel like we are at that point where we need to be able to spend time together and see each other on a normal basis, this long distance stuff just is not cool. I daydream about the time we will get to spend together when he's here. We can go on dates and just be able to spend quality time together and I know David will be so much happier in Tennessee, and I will be much more happy with him here. He just calms me and helps me be more centered and not freak out about the little things I can't change. We are so different from each other, but its a good different. David doesn't worry about anything and I worry about everything! I miss him every day. I thought it would be a good idea to move there if I didn't get into Grad school, but after we talked about it a bit I decided that it would be best to stay here. =( I am sad though that I don't know how much longer this is all going to last. Hopefully not to much longer.
Im trying to stay positive about everything and work through all the changes. My anxiety levels have been out the roof lately, just feeling panicky and nervous all the time. I'm hoping that after i start at my next placement and get back into a routine I will feel better about it all. I move into my new place next weekend and I'm excited to get in and decorate and make it a comfy home! Please pray for me and the next couple of months! I hope that God will just show me the way and help me to find a purpose in this crazy life! I know I'm meant to do something good and meaningful... now just to figure out what that is!
-Em
David is trying to get a job back here in Nashville, and I am praying everyday that it happens soon. I really feel like we are at that point where we need to be able to spend time together and see each other on a normal basis, this long distance stuff just is not cool. I daydream about the time we will get to spend together when he's here. We can go on dates and just be able to spend quality time together and I know David will be so much happier in Tennessee, and I will be much more happy with him here. He just calms me and helps me be more centered and not freak out about the little things I can't change. We are so different from each other, but its a good different. David doesn't worry about anything and I worry about everything! I miss him every day. I thought it would be a good idea to move there if I didn't get into Grad school, but after we talked about it a bit I decided that it would be best to stay here. =( I am sad though that I don't know how much longer this is all going to last. Hopefully not to much longer.
Im trying to stay positive about everything and work through all the changes. My anxiety levels have been out the roof lately, just feeling panicky and nervous all the time. I'm hoping that after i start at my next placement and get back into a routine I will feel better about it all. I move into my new place next weekend and I'm excited to get in and decorate and make it a comfy home! Please pray for me and the next couple of months! I hope that God will just show me the way and help me to find a purpose in this crazy life! I know I'm meant to do something good and meaningful... now just to figure out what that is!
-Em
Friday, January 8, 2010
Back on Track
Hello All,
Well its a new year 2010, and i am getting back on track with the working out. I went yesterday for the first time in roughly a month and have started logging my running on my new MacBook icalendar. I am going to log everyday how much i ran and weigh in once every 2 weeks. I weighed in yesterday at 161.8. so since this summers fantastic advances in weight loss i have gained 7 lbs. Which isn't much but on a 5'4 frame it shows. I am excited to start running again, and get things under control. Over the past month it has been made very clear to me how bad my family genes can be and that I need to get my weigh and eating habits and workout habits under control now so that I can fight the fat genes later.
The wedding is over! It was so beautiful and so much fun. I wish i have been disciplined before the wedding, Raegan looked fantastic, I on the other hand looked ok. I wish i had stayed at 154 or lower, but its ok. Eve and Derek had a beautiful ceremony and no matter how I looked I still got to stand next to one of my best friends on her wedding day. I will just have to make sure to look way better for mine haha!!!
So now we are in the count down to the half marathon. it is April 24th. I start the training program either the 11th or the 18th. Either one will work for the time frame I am just gonna keep running till im ready to start. I am super excited to get into a regular routine. Now that im moved into my new apartment in Nashville I am learning my way around, have a job interview tonight, and will start student teaching soon. I think between eating right, and at the same time everyday coupled with my exercise I should be able to drop the weight and get ready for the race in a safe and healthy way. Wish me luck with it all!! I'll keep ya'll posted more on weekly runs and weigh ins along with daily life happenings in Nashville!!!
XOXO
-Em
Well its a new year 2010, and i am getting back on track with the working out. I went yesterday for the first time in roughly a month and have started logging my running on my new MacBook icalendar. I am going to log everyday how much i ran and weigh in once every 2 weeks. I weighed in yesterday at 161.8. so since this summers fantastic advances in weight loss i have gained 7 lbs. Which isn't much but on a 5'4 frame it shows. I am excited to start running again, and get things under control. Over the past month it has been made very clear to me how bad my family genes can be and that I need to get my weigh and eating habits and workout habits under control now so that I can fight the fat genes later.
The wedding is over! It was so beautiful and so much fun. I wish i have been disciplined before the wedding, Raegan looked fantastic, I on the other hand looked ok. I wish i had stayed at 154 or lower, but its ok. Eve and Derek had a beautiful ceremony and no matter how I looked I still got to stand next to one of my best friends on her wedding day. I will just have to make sure to look way better for mine haha!!!
So now we are in the count down to the half marathon. it is April 24th. I start the training program either the 11th or the 18th. Either one will work for the time frame I am just gonna keep running till im ready to start. I am super excited to get into a regular routine. Now that im moved into my new apartment in Nashville I am learning my way around, have a job interview tonight, and will start student teaching soon. I think between eating right, and at the same time everyday coupled with my exercise I should be able to drop the weight and get ready for the race in a safe and healthy way. Wish me luck with it all!! I'll keep ya'll posted more on weekly runs and weigh ins along with daily life happenings in Nashville!!!
XOXO
-Em
Monday, December 14, 2009
Eat, Drink, and Be Merry
Hello all,
Well its the big week!!! Here is the schedule of events
Monday: STUDY! Dinner party for water aerobics class
Tuesday: Group Dynamics Final @ 10:30
Adolescent Psychology Final @ 1
Wednesday: Pack & Study for MAT
Thursday: Pack, Study for MAT, Eve wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner in Nashville
Friday: MAT @ 2, take kitties to new home (aka dads garage)
Saturday: MOVE TO NASHVILLE!!!!
Sunday: Eve's wedding!!!
So big week for me! I also have had some good news lately! First, I passed my Praxis II: Art Content Knowledge test! YAY!!! go me! Second, David had a job interview in Nashville last wednesday! So we are remaining hopeful and positive that we will hear back something soon. Everything has started changing and happening so quickly, i feel like im just watching it all in a movie. I can't believe the doors that have opened up for me in the past couple of weeks and I feel so blessed. Everything is working out so well. I am nervous to move, but excited all at the same time. 2 of my best friends from home are coming to help me on Saturday along with my dad. It will be fun to redecorate my apartment and make it into a home. I will be sad to leave cookeville, but confident that you have to take big leaps for big things to happen. So im leaping as far as I can at the moment and starting something new. I can't wait to see what happens next!
- Em
Well its the big week!!! Here is the schedule of events
Monday: STUDY! Dinner party for water aerobics class
Tuesday: Group Dynamics Final @ 10:30
Adolescent Psychology Final @ 1
Wednesday: Pack & Study for MAT
Thursday: Pack, Study for MAT, Eve wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner in Nashville
Friday: MAT @ 2, take kitties to new home (aka dads garage)
Saturday: MOVE TO NASHVILLE!!!!
Sunday: Eve's wedding!!!
So big week for me! I also have had some good news lately! First, I passed my Praxis II: Art Content Knowledge test! YAY!!! go me! Second, David had a job interview in Nashville last wednesday! So we are remaining hopeful and positive that we will hear back something soon. Everything has started changing and happening so quickly, i feel like im just watching it all in a movie. I can't believe the doors that have opened up for me in the past couple of weeks and I feel so blessed. Everything is working out so well. I am nervous to move, but excited all at the same time. 2 of my best friends from home are coming to help me on Saturday along with my dad. It will be fun to redecorate my apartment and make it into a home. I will be sad to leave cookeville, but confident that you have to take big leaps for big things to happen. So im leaping as far as I can at the moment and starting something new. I can't wait to see what happens next!
- Em
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Long Time
Hey! well its has been like a month or so since my last post... my bad. so much has happened since then! here is the basic run down!
* I officially move to Hermitage/ Nashville December 21st!!!
* I am moving in with 2 friends and I already have the keys to my apt!
* I am applying to grad school at Vanderbilt! It is the perfect program for me and I am very anxious!
* I took 2 praxis test November 14th and take the MAT December 8th and my last praxis on Jan 9th.
* I have 2 weeks of school left till this semester is over
*I am student teaching in Wilson Co. next semester!
* My nephew turned 1
Thats all I can think of off the top of my head! November was a very busy month for me, but exciting all at the same time. Thanksgiving was fantastic I got to spend a lot of time with my family and me and jessica were basically attatched at the hip for 5 days! It was so fun. I truely miss my friends back home. I have such a great time hanging out with them. These are people I have know for 11 + years and it so easy to have a good time when we are together!
I get fitted for my bridesmaids dress on friday. YIKES! my workouts were no existent over thanksgiving but im back in the swing of things now. I am writing down everything I eat and keeping track of calories. It feels good to be able to know exactly what I am putting in my body and I hope that it will keep me accountable. I am also not eating out. Only at home. It is so much cheaper and much easier to keep track of what im eating exactly. I am working on a lot of cardio right now not only to do a quick slim down before eve's wedding (in 19 days!!!!!!) but also so I can get my cadio levels up before training starts in January for the Country Music Half Marathon!!!! here is my training schedule...
http://www.halhigdon.com/halfmarathon/novice.htm
It is a 12 week program and I am extremely excited to begin! The race day is April 24th 2010!!!! YAY!!!!! If anyone is interested in running it with me let me know =) only a few more months till the big day!! if anyone knows of any good cross training stuff let me know!!! I am also thinking about trying to find a dance studio to take some classes at... i do miss it so much.
Well I think thats all for today. So much is happening right now but its all very exciting. I will get my test results back from my praxis on December 15th so ill let you know!!! Happy Holidays!!
-E
* I officially move to Hermitage/ Nashville December 21st!!!
* I am moving in with 2 friends and I already have the keys to my apt!
* I am applying to grad school at Vanderbilt! It is the perfect program for me and I am very anxious!
* I took 2 praxis test November 14th and take the MAT December 8th and my last praxis on Jan 9th.
* I have 2 weeks of school left till this semester is over
*I am student teaching in Wilson Co. next semester!
* My nephew turned 1
Thats all I can think of off the top of my head! November was a very busy month for me, but exciting all at the same time. Thanksgiving was fantastic I got to spend a lot of time with my family and me and jessica were basically attatched at the hip for 5 days! It was so fun. I truely miss my friends back home. I have such a great time hanging out with them. These are people I have know for 11 + years and it so easy to have a good time when we are together!
I get fitted for my bridesmaids dress on friday. YIKES! my workouts were no existent over thanksgiving but im back in the swing of things now. I am writing down everything I eat and keeping track of calories. It feels good to be able to know exactly what I am putting in my body and I hope that it will keep me accountable. I am also not eating out. Only at home. It is so much cheaper and much easier to keep track of what im eating exactly. I am working on a lot of cardio right now not only to do a quick slim down before eve's wedding (in 19 days!!!!!!) but also so I can get my cadio levels up before training starts in January for the Country Music Half Marathon!!!! here is my training schedule...
http://www.halhigdon.com/halfmarathon/novice.htm
It is a 12 week program and I am extremely excited to begin! The race day is April 24th 2010!!!! YAY!!!!! If anyone is interested in running it with me let me know =) only a few more months till the big day!! if anyone knows of any good cross training stuff let me know!!! I am also thinking about trying to find a dance studio to take some classes at... i do miss it so much.
Well I think thats all for today. So much is happening right now but its all very exciting. I will get my test results back from my praxis on December 15th so ill let you know!!! Happy Holidays!!
-E
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